Chapter One

Crazy Love:  Chapter One

I had purchased the DVD that dives a little deeper into this topic of “Crazy Love”.  Francis Chan takes it chapter by chapter giving us a deeper look at each chapter challenging us to go deeper.  Each segment gives a question or two.  So each week when I post I will also include the question of the week that he has given within his DVD Study Guide.  It’s optional, and not something that you have to do.  But if you like to be challenged to go deeper, and are willing to go there dive in!

Question for Chapter One:    What do you think would be the first words that would come out of your mouth when you first see Jesus?

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In starting off this chapter it challenged me to look at something completely differently then I had ever before in regards to talking to God…prayer.  How many times in my life without even realizing it have I talked AT God rather than TO him?!  This perspective has challenged me to be mindful of my words, and really give more thought to how I spend my prayer time to my beautiful Lord and Savior  who deserves more then to be talked at!

In watching the Awe Factor video on his website was like a small glimpse of how amazing God is.  It blows my mind the infinite power of God and how quickly I jump to rest on my own thoughts and actions instead of trusting God to work things out for me.  My control freak ways can really get in the way of seeing clearly of how easily God can handle all of my problems and issues that arise daily!  I need to do what the bible says :

Psalms 46:10a

“He says, Be Still and know that I am God.”

If I believe this, truly believe this, I don’t need to waste time being anxious, fearful, or stressed out or formulating different possible plans to “fix” the issue at hand.  I need to just be still and know that he can take care of it, he is the great I AM and I am NOT!

Thinking of God’s awesomeness and greatness-do I give him the glory he so justly deserves?  Most of the time I would sadly have to answer no.  There are so many times I take the credit, the compliment, the reality that any good that is found in me came straight from God calls my pride out on the floor!  It’s with his help and power that I am able to raise and teach this brood of mine, and every day I have to wrestle against my own selfish/sinful desires and ways that come so naturally to me.  But God, this wonderful personal God of mine whom I love so much, he gives me the ability to remain on track even though the world is full of diversions and distractions. Thank you Jesus!

I LOVED the term he used, “spiritual amnesia” because it’s so true!  I have heard, read, and seen firsthand how great and powerful God is…and many times walk away and do not keep that reality fresh in my mind and it turns into a faded distant thought that almost feels like a dream that didn’t really happen.  How could I, how dare I, but I do.  In my humanness I easily forget.  I want to pray this week that God will help me to keep these things in the forefront of my mind!  The realness of his love and power, his greatness!

I love Francis’s honesty in that in real life he shares that it does actually take effort on our part at times to even “want” to spend time with God.  It’s hard to write this, because I know I love him, but I don’t always make the effort in showing him how much I love and want him.  To truly love God and put him first takes effort on my part, and I need to daily put him first and spend time in his word and having a personal relationship with him by spending time in prayer.  I shoot quick prayers off to him throughout the day, but what I am talking about is that alone, focused, here I am lord..here is my heart!

The whole idea of focusing on His goodness instead of my wants-Oh how self consumed I am most days!!!  Not even taking into account the needs of the world around me!  How tragic!  Keeping in mind all we really need is in the Lord, do I truly believe this?  If I do, why don’t I live like I believe it?!

We, even as Christians, still many times try to fit God in this box that we can easily understand and make sense of.  I do this without even thinking about it at times, and I have no earthly idea why?!  God is so unfathomably amazing, and my small human mind doesn’t even remotely grasp this concept of God or His greatness!  I think somehow if I think and believe I understand who and how God is, it will make me feel more in control…and the reality is quite the opposite.  I need to accept the fact I will never ever fully understand the vastness and beauty and amazingness of who God is, and what he does on our behalf daily without us even knowing it.  I need to just praise him for being God, my God, and the greatness of who he is whether I understand him or not!

Questioning God….ah, we have all done this in some way, shape, or form at some point in our lives.  It’s hard to live in the unknown of things and still have peace.  But if I believe he is the all knowing God, who knows best, shouldn’t that peace that passes all understanding win out?  I should say so, and have experienced this so many times in my short life….even though there is heartache and/or turmoil and/or chaos all around me I can have that peace that ONLY comes from the Lord.  If I would only cling to this truth instead of sometimes using God as my “backup plan” or “plan b” when I can’t figure things out on my own.  This reality shakes me to the ground at this moment.  Knowing that his word is all true, can always be depended on, and I need to rest in it and BELIEVE it for goodness sakes….even when my world feels crazy at times!

Bringing my thoughts and focus to the cross and all that Jesus went through because of my sin and his love for us so that we would be saved instead of eternally lost, both blows me away as well as grounds me in the truth and helps my focus to remain on him rather than myself.  I need to use this thought to keep my focus on him when I am distracted from what is most important( which is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ).

Optional Question: What would I say if I were to see Jesus today, at this very moment…..

When I envision this in my mind I honestly see myself falling at his feet, weeping, falling prostrate before him out of reverence and being overwhelmed by his love and beauty…that he would love me, sinful old mess of a me….wow, incredible….no words come to mind because I feel I would be SO overwhelmed by his greatness!  I would most likely tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for my past sins and that I was sorry for the missed opportunities of serving him so many different times on earth….but living with this mindset of what I would say somehow shapes how I will live tomorrow…it makes me feel the love I have for him more fully, being more real to me.  It makes me want to serve and love him each day in ways I never have before in my thoughts and my actions.  It broadens my scope of seeing, thinking, and feeling…..but feels all so much that I need to go before him now sharing these thoughts, because there are so many I could hardly put them all to verse before you in this email…..so I think tonight I will go to him, sharing my heart with him and asking for HIS vision for my life, and for each day…living out of love and reverence for him rather than for myself, my family, and so forth.  God will help all things fall in line just as they should be if I could just get this control freak of person (myself, lol) out of the drivers seat and let him take control!

My prayer request:  Pray that God will give me a clear vision for each day, staying focused on my love for him which overflows to others and that I would bear fruit for him rather than be stagnant in my own little selfish world that I put myself in at times!