Chapter Four

Crazy Love:  Chapter Four

Question of the week:  Discuss a verse that jumped out at you in this chapter!  Share some change your going to make in response to reading this chapter?!  (this came from his DVD from this book)

Enthusiasm for Christ….the joy and enthusiasm for this eternal treasure that He has given me….do I even feel this passion and fire so as to be so consumed by it that I can’t help but want to pass this treasure on…truly caring about the eternity of others.  This is no game we’re in, this life is short.  How dare I, even once, pass up an opportunity to share Christ with other.  This Lord who loves me so much, who gave us, his only son to death, so that we could be forgiven…I feel the passion, I feel the love…but I need to think about others eternity….not just be so selfish in keeping it for myself….being thankful that I have it….what about the world around me.  There is ONLY one God, and there is only ONE way TO God that is through Christ, He bridges the gap….he is the ONLY God that died for me….do I truly care about the lost or not….this is weighing heavily on my mind as I read this chapter…..all I take for granted, all I keep for myself, how lazy I have become in my faith in SO many ways.

Numbers…churches get wrapped up in this, WE sometimes get wrapped up in this…God isn’t keeping some sort of tally of “How many people Amber has shared God with”….he cares about my heart status, my willingness to serve him, my love and dedication to him.  I went to a VBS banquet last year at the end of the session show the kids did….one of the main leaders kept going over how many people attended each day, total number for the week and so forth….but what I wanted to know wasn’t how many came but how many ask more questions about Christ….how did the children respond to the message of Christ, did anyone  dear child ask Jesus into their heart, did they ask those wonderful questions that lets you know Christ is working on them, is speaking to their sweet spirits….the Holy Spirit is always at work, and he can work through us when we have truly given our hearts fully over to God.  If we have not, and have not asked God to forgive us our sins and believe Jesus is the only way to God and heaven, we don’t have the Holy Spirit, we couldn’t possibly unless we have asked Jesus to BE the Lord of our life….so here I am all laid back not thinking about how important the Holy Spirit is….he gives me wisdom, discernment, he lives within me…..this is pretty important and I need to address my laziness issue before I lazily pass up another chance to spread Gods love, his word to others….I have seen a woman hurting at the checkout line at Walmart, saw in her eyes how lonely she looked, how sad….she was the checkout lady…but instead of asking how she was, telling her God loved her, asking to pray with her or telling her I would be praying for her….I said NOTHING….I didn’t want to “upset her”……who cares, she was upset whether I said something or not….to know someone else cares….that there is a God who loves us and cares about us….this was the message I chose to keep selfishly for myself that day….oh you weak flesh of little use!  I chastised my own selfishness, but made a vow to never do that again…..to NOT listen to satan’s lies about what a person would think or feel……it only mattered that God gave me the eyes to see her pain, and that I pray for his help in speaking to her….to obey him was ALL that mattered in that very moment  and I chose to do the opposite….I have asked for his forgiveness, and had to forgive myself….but now I must learn from it and NEVER get so lackadaisical about what matters most…Christ and saying, “yes Lord your servant is listening”…..I want to be like Mary, like Samuel and obey when he speaks, to have an open ear to his words, his calling….yes lord your servant is listening!!!

The “good soil” he refers to from scripture….SO right on!!!  Am I bearing “good fruit” if not I need to ask myself “why not”.  What am I going to do in changing the pattern lifestyle I’m living that is preventing this “good fruit”.  What is distracting me, what is diverting me off His path, what can I get rid of, root out, be willing to let go of so that I can bear this good fruit…so MY OWN CHILDREN can see and know what this GOOD FRUIT looks like.  I feel so angry and passionate right now its almost irritating, this chapter has been my rip out and want to throw out to the trash chapter…but keep because I need to digest, dig deeper, and pray on the things that are calling my BUTT out on the floor….dear Jesus help me to be open to change, to this calling out so that I no longer sit here being all talk and no show…..I need your help!!!  I don’t EVER want to settle for “godly enough” as he refers….oh I think I may be “good enough” so this is enough change for now….it’s never enough, he asks for ALL of me, all my love, my very life….and HE deserves it….I DON”T deserve the eternal life he has given me, but he actually does deserve my full dedication…..even how I serve my own family….do I serve them as with my whole heart as if I’m serving him….rarely…..he says in his word what I do for others I am doing to and for him…..scary thought sometimes right?!  Well, to me it is….I have screwed him over one too many times, and I am SO over myself right now its getting ridiculous…..Francis words of “ITS NOT ABOUT YOU” just keep popping up in my mind EVERY chapter I read….but its SO true….and I tell myself this at least once a day, and it helps, it keeps me in check in a lot of ways and helps me to change my focus OFF of me rather then on me….

James 4:17

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it sins.

James 1:22

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.

These two verses stuck out to me because I know the word, its in my heart, Love his word, I teach my children the ways of the Lord and teach them in the word….but it’s the DOING it, the LIVING it….this sometimes is hard for me in some ways….speaking at uncomfortable times and places….who cares I need to do it….he died for me, give over yourself I need to say….I sin when I don’t do it…bottom line…no second chances on this….now or never….and I NEED to live the now every moment and treat each moment like my last….I do not want to be lukewarm….I don’t want a little bit of God, I don’t want to be comfortable….I want to give all, be open to the “radical” way of the Lord not caring what others think.  I want to have his eyes to see the hearing, to have his willingness to speak for his father, to spread his love to the world….to care so deeply it doesn’t matter any longer how the world see’s me but how GOD see’s me!  I want my love and service to be limitless….to NOT say “ok god I’ll give this much, but not all that you ask and require”….I want to give my whole heart to him because above all HE actually deserves it, to love him means to have his love for others….if I am living selfishly for myself and only my family how can I say I love God when he gave his son for the world…not just me or my family….the world!  Do I not see the world who are lost and hurting….they are right there in front of me…but I quickly walk by, drive by, push my cart in front of…..you name it!

How much STUFF do we need….good grief….we say we love God but don’t’ want to live the “servants” life we want to live the RICH life….more money, more things, more happiness….ALL LIES FROM SATAN!  I mean sure more money might make things easier but it may make me less dependent on God, more selfish, and then how much love and service am I giving then….I’d rather be poor money whise and live for Christ then have all the money in the world and be eternally lost and squander my life away for myself…it amounts to NOTHING.  It feels good to help others, to put others first….HELP ME LORD TO BE A BLESSING AND TO SEE A NEED AND MEET IT….you will provide even if I can’t see the work now, the funds now.

I’m over this playing it safe business, I want to live for him fully not half heartedly…..do we half heartedly love our kids or husbands?!  Then why would we do this to our heavenly God and father who has done so much more for us…..we should love him above all others including ourselves…to love Him better is to love others…..he changes us, helps us to see things differently, in HIS way not OUR control freak ways!   Am I willing to sacrifice all for his call for his will to be done?  I think so, but then when I am called out to do something, which should be often if we’re really listening and following him…do I do it?  If not I am again full of words, and my life isn’t reflecting him or bearing good fruit….oh Jesus my heart aches for my past waste of time and life that could have been doing more, being more for you….forgive my selfishness….help me to exemplify you and your life….giving all glory to you….all that is good within me is from you…..forgive my negligence of you!  I know you don’t NEED me, but I NEED you and ask you use me, and give me to the power to do great things in your name…not for myself, but for you….so the world see’s your greatness….so they can no longer say “there is no God” or “my god is the only God”….when Jesus truly is the ONLY way….we cannot compromise this truth….if you do, you cannot be a follower of Christ….his very word says this truth, to say it is not true is to say Christ is a liar which he is not and could not be….EVERYTHING in his word is true…..this I do know!

We say we have faith in God, but it seems limited….i will follow and believe this much, but when it stretches me I pull things back in my own hands and try to “fix” things…boy am I delusional to think I can fix things better then GOD?!  Wow, I have things messed up in my thinking process when I do this…my faith needs to run deep, unwavering, knowing his plan is best whether I see it or not…I will not move till he moves me if he brings me to a particular place…..I don’t want to doubt him, question him, or stress over things that I can’t fix or can’t see myself through…..I need to run to the Lord and sit as his feet being still and knowing HE IS GOD!!!

I realize I am a sinner, that I mess up, but I am fully dedicating the rest of my life in the service of God…this half way business is NO longer, I know I will not be perfect, and I don’t strive to be….I just want to love and serve God and not myself….this selfish life has gone on long enough, though my love has always been there for Christ, my full commitment has not been!

This chapter was hatefully wonderful…..it felt painful at times, but SO what I needed RIGHT NOW….this is HIS life, what am I waiting for?!!!  There is a Christian song that says, “this is your life, are you who you want to be”…..but I challenge you including myself…..to change the words to “this is HIS life, show me what you want from me” it’s his life, what does HE want….it doesn’t matter what we want to be….we get that all messed up with all the worlds influences and our own selfish sinful nature….we don’t get HIS reality of what HE wants…..so let’s move forward , praying and asking God for HIS will to be done, to see clearly as to what he wants from us, to hear clearly his words, his calling on our lives….